Has your child ever hidden from you?  Maybe they broke something, or disobeyed a rule, and they hid because they feared your reaction...the look on your face or the tone of your voice, which would convey deep disappointment, or maybe even anger.

Imagine now that what they are hiding is not something they did, but their inner most identity...they are hiding who they really are...maybe even hiding their true identity from themselves, fearing knock down drag out fights ending in being kicked out of the family home/being erased from family life.

Gender Identity (physical characteristics) which is assigned at birth, by total strangers, is NOT a phase children "grow out of."  This is the true sense of self - how one feels in their body.    

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Sexual Identity is who they are sexually attracted to...who they want to date, who they want to have children with and build a life with.  Again, "the heart wants what the heart wants."  This is NOT a choice.  This is NOT a phase they are going through. 

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As a licensed marriage and family therapist, and certified teen life coach,  I can help you understand your child's internal world, and walk along side you both as you, your child and your family navigate your child's journey of finding their true self.  Please call or TXT 714.743.5612 anytime.

 

Please refer to the page for LGBTQ Youth for more details and terminology  definitions.

 

Please use the following links to see various U-Tube and/or television shows illustrating different scenarios of how people react to "coming out" and interacting with Gay friends, family, and co-workers.

Videos of "Coming Out Stories"; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbpCC8GeLEc&feature=youtu.be

If you think it's easy to come out to family...these boys even have each other for support, and they have a hard time...U-Tube "Twin Boys Come Out To Their Father";   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPKuZhjlxE

How curious people can be insensitive without realizing they're being insensitive...U-Tube:  "Straight Parents Answer Questions That Gay Parents Get Asked";  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RH7zX6QSUM

Night Court: Best Friends [ Episode 6, Season 3]; Dan's best friend from High School comes out as Transgender and Dan can't handle it...;  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qLSBArRINs

Sweden's "Raised Without Gender";  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sPj8HhbwHs

CBS "Stories of Transgender Children"

 Hannah Gadsby in "nanette"

Hannah Gadsby in "nanette"

And, finally, please look up Hannah Gadsby's one hour special on Netflix titled "Nanette" - Hannah explains why she is giving up self abasing comedy, and she has not one but two tirades; the first is about what it was like growing up in a country in which homosexuality was AGAINST THE LAW until 1997, and how 70% of the people who raised her believed her to be an abomination; the second tirade is about privilege [having been raised in privilege one really cannot understand the fear felt by those who do NOT have the same freedom to be who they truly are.]  If you choose to watch this Netflix show, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WATCH ALL THE WAY TO THE END...this is the best illustration of what your child struggles with.  AND if you have felt/behaved the way Hannah's family and countrymen have, please know I do NOT judge or criticize. If you want help understanding your child, if you need help re-establishing a relationship with them, please call or txt 714.743.5612 anytime, and ask for Coach Mickey.

 

 

 
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